KNOW WHO YOU ARE - by Ryan Johnson

One of my favorite events to go to each year is Hannah’s fireside dance recital. A couple of weeks ago, I was enjoying this recital and watching Hannah dance to the song Child of Light (by Mindy Gledhill). The song begins: “Do you ever wonder who you are? …” this question, or rather the process of finding the answer to this question has been on my mind a lot lately, since there is nothing more that I would want for my kids, nieces and nephews than for them to search, ponder, and pray and understand who they really are! We opened our family home evening with singing I Am A Child of God. This hymn is sung so often that I am not sure we really internalize the literal meaning.

When I was a youth, I put my confidence into my ability to perform at sports, trying to stay up on the latest fashions, lifting weights and trying to get ripped. I always felt like I had a good “self esteem” and was confident in myself. I know the following is very shallow and weak, but while in high school I really thought that everyone knew who I was since our football team was doing pretty well. A while back I wrote the following in my journal regarding this time in my life:

As High School years came it seemed that being the High School quarter back gave me my identity (I even started to talk to girls a little bit since I thought that was what the QB was suppose to do). My brothers and I joke about being quarter back in High School and driving up Spanish Fork main street and thinking that everyone we passed knew who we were. It is funny to think about that now, as we have a new knowledge that 99.9% of the people we saw had no clue whether the team played on Friday night or not. And surely they didn’t know who won. And never in a million years did they know or care who the quarter back was. Sports were fun and I would be lying if I didn’t say that they didn’t teach me a lot of good principles (hard work, determination, good sportsmanship, competitor, enduring to the end, example), which helped me on my mission, through college, marriage and profession. I have not taken a survey, but I would probably say that in High School I was probably perceived as someone with confidence. A mission friend (Rob Morris) often talked about “fake it until you make it” now I don’t know if that is a true principle but that is what I did in High School years. My confidence was fake. And I did make it, eventually.

A very wise person once taught me, the following about the sources of self-esteem: There appears to be two main sources of self-esteem. From the world’s view our self-esteem seems to be determined by how well we perform in the various aspects of our lives. If we feel attractive, do well in school, feel intelligent, feel like we are a good athlete, successful in a career, or have a good income we have high self-esteem. The world bases self-esteem on performance. This is other-esteem more than self-esteem. God and Christ have a different method of determining our self-worth. They love us unconditionally and without measure. Our worth is already established because we are who we are. We are unique, one-of-a-kind individuals. Regardless of what we do or don’t do does not change our worth to them. Our challenge is to see ourselves as they see us. We lived for eons of time in the pre-mortal life with our Heavenly Father, Mother and Savior. Each of us were created in the image of God and blessed with his attributes. Our worth was established with God before we were born. Our purpose in coming to earth is to receive a body, have earthly experiences and prove myself worthy to return to God’s presence.

If we could truly understand that we ARE CREATED IN GODS IMAGE, WITH HIS ATTRIBUTES, then that should give us the confidence that we need to know that we can endure and overcome everything that is placed before us, we can excel in school, sports, church, professions and lif. Because, we have immortal and Godlike attributes and the ability to create and overcome anything!

There was one thing in my younger years that I did not like about myself, I was blessed with many little red friends on my face (otherwise known as zits). This caused some insecurity, because my security came from what others thought of me. I tried all sorts of medication and acne treatments but seems like they only got worse as time went on. As I was preparing to go on a mission, I had many defining moments where the Lord helped me understand who I really was, I gained a burning testimony that Jesus died for me and suffered for everything that I suffer through. I knew that he loved me for who I really was, despite my weaknesses and faults. I started to gain true confidence and wished that I would have gained this true testimony earlier in my youth, as I know that I could have been even happier and successful in my goals. I am not a dermatologist so medically I can’t back it up but personally I equate my acne to the emotional roller coaster of Jr. High and High School and the on-going stress of putting trust in superficial/material things. Within weeks, if not the first few months of my mission, my red friends went away.

Mindy Gledhill’s song, Child of Light, continues with the statement: “… You were made to fly!” I know that Heavenly Father created us to fly, and like the saying goes: “God don’t make junk”. I know that our Heavenly Father wants us to fly! Meaning, we can do whatever we put our minds too as we have faith, pray and work hard in accomplishing our dreams. I know that Heavenly Father cares about us and cares about our personal lives, dreams, aspirations, and goals. I know that as we understand that we are literal children of God and have his attributes then we can share our talents with others and be able to bless our own lives and the lives of our family and friends. I PRAY WITH ALL MY HEART THAT MY CHILDREN, NIECES AND NEPHEWS CAN GAIN SEARCH, PONDER AND PRAY ABOUT THE BOOK OF MORMON, THE GOSPEL TRUTHFULLNESS AND THE UNDERSTANDING AND KNOWLEDGE OF WHO THEY REALLY ARE!